Saturday, June 18, 2011

Lessons from mommyhood

Okay, so I am bursting at the seams (metaphor, metaphor!)with all the stuff that's been going on and that I want to tell you, but first I have to do the 'lessons from mommyhood' tag that the delightful Noor had tagged me with a while ago. Strangely enough before this tag started doing the rounds I'd been thinking of doing a post along similar lines, a post about all the stuff that I've learned since I became a mom. Being my usual efficient, brisk, get-down-to-the-job self, the post in my mind grew and brewed and would have probably got pickled, if it hadn't been for this tag which has served like a timely kick in the posterior. So here goes; here's some of the stuff I've learned since I became Nikki's mommy:


1.I've learned that it pays to start the day sunny side up. That bit about getting off on the right side of the bed? It works! Before I had Nikki I don't really remember waking up in the morning all raring to smell the roses and soak in the sunshine. Maybe the fact that all I could really look forward to smelling was my evil co-workers' coffee breath while soaking in the artificial glare from my laptop had something to do with it, but the point is I was invariably grouchy first thing in the morning on most days. Except Mondays, when I was positively depressed. Then Nikki came along and every morning I'd be greeted by a little bundle of cooing and squealing delight. Nikki wakes up every morning super thrilled to just be awake, raring to take on a new day, chattering non stop about all the million things she simply has to do right away and her cheerful enthusiasm is infectious! My blue funk vanishes and I grin right back at her and it makes all the difference to the rest of my day as well. The bai who fails to turn up doesn't throw me into a tizzy, the gloomy weather outside doesn't make me want to curl up under my duvet and die and the million little daily irritants that earlier made me want to howl like a banshee just make me want to say tut-tut. Sounds simple really, but it took Nikki to make me realize how important it is to start the day with a smile and what a difference it can make.

2.I've learned to stop, slow down, relax. When you have a child who takes approximately one hour and thirty seven minutes to eat one aloo paratha, you can use the time to figure out what WH Davies really meant when he wrote all that stuff about leisure.You also learn that it can actually be fun to just slow down while you make funny shapes with that aloo paratha and observe the swirls it makes when you trail it in a bowl of yoghurt. And that there's nothing more relaxing than a summer afternoon spent in the park with a two year old, watching the clotted cream clouds drift past above, or make up stories about apples that dance and grasshoppers that sing.

3.Motherhood has made me an infinitely patient person. Patience was not something I listed among my virtues earlier but now I can deal with the worst of the temper tantrums and the nuclear meltdowns and the mealtime battles and then some with an abundance of calm. I just hope it lasts.

4.I've learned that I can be Superwoman when I have to. Ten years ago, if someone had told me that I would survive one long road trip with an infant, during the course of which keeping said infant well fed, clean, safe and in good humour would be my sole responsibility no matter how many times the infant pooped (and boy, did she poop!)and that I would come back home at the end of it, bone tired, to cook up a batch of khichdi and sterilize a few bottles, I would have laughed hysterically. Then I would have keeled over and died. But I did do all of these things. And then I woke up three times at one, three and five am to rock and sing the same infant to sleep. And I did not howl like a banshee. At least not out loud.

5. Most importantly, I think becoming a mother has helped me learn a whole lot of things about myself. About what makes me happy, about the things that really matter to me and the things that don't. And, cliched as it sounds, it has helped me become a better person, because the thought of that little person whose life I am responsible for shaping, at least in some ways, makes me want to be someone she can always look up to.

The whole world and its sister has probably done this tag by the time I've got down to it, but I'm going to go ahead and tag some mommies I'd like to hear from anyway. Go for it Priyanka, Divs, Sonia, MRC (hope this gets you to blog again!) and Beks! You're IT!

8 comments:

Comfy said...

Aah things we learn. So true all of them.

The Superwoman hit the mark like none other. I took Buzz on a 24 hours journey all by myself and then dealt with jetlag and all the fun that comes with it.

Loved reading your take on it all :)

MRC said...

We'll see about that, which is mommy speak for "I really want to do it, so I'll try but no promises" ....;) 'cos right now Im swamped with moving and setting up house in a new place but SO flattered that someone actually misses my blog!!!
Oh and comments on this post coming up soon...ish :D

Vandana said...

Hmmm thought provoking post, since I'm not yet a mother. Loved reading your take on lessons from motherhood :)
Hey when is the book coming? I was in Crosswords yesterday and I found myself looking for it! What does it look like?

Hello Mommyhood said...

Comfy...24 hours journey with jet lag to follow! Goodness Comfy, that sounds like Super Goddess! Gosh, how did you manage? We're planning a trip abroad in some time, must take some travel tips from you.

MRC...Oh you're moving! All the best and yeah, take your time :) Do miss your blog tho!

Vandana...Its out early next month! And check the blog to see what it looks like :)

Anonymous said...

Wonderful!! You know, the point about being a Super-woman applies to me too. Its amazing how many things I can get done between 7 and 8 AM, I'm so proud of myself after I drop off Ash to school at 8:30 :) We Super-women should party some day for all the things we do, I mean party together. ;)

Divs said...

Yup - totally agree on the Superwoman bit myself too. I have published my take on the tag today. Take a look.

MRC said...

Well, the tag is done!
And now , as promised, comments on this one-
Absolutely agree with points 1 and 4, while points 2,3 and 5 just go to show you're faaaaaaaaar ahead of me in mommy school ! :D

Hello Mommyhood said...

Priyanka...Sounds like a plan! Next time you're in my side of the world or I'm in yours, a Superwomen party it is!

Divs...Totally agreed with your post! Was nodding away till I was at risk of whiplash.

MRC...And she's back! Hurray! Off to read your post now.