Of saying goodbye and savoring life's special stuff

We've spent the last two days hanging out with my sister, Nikki's C Paachi, who flies out to the US today for higher studies. While I restricted my goodbyes to a semi hug and a rather eloquent grunt in my characteristic expressive style, I'm sure C knows that we're all going to miss her lots. What makes this whole going away business a little better is that she's going to be back in under six months to get married (hurray!), an event everyone in the family is quite looking forward to. Nikki had a fun two days spending time with C Paachi and her grandparents which got me around to thinking about how important it is for kids to spend time with family growing up, to know that there are other loving, dependable adults they can confide in and look up to, apart from their parents. I'm hoping Nikki gets to spend a lot of time with close family as she grows up and have been making an effort to get together with family I have in and around town whenever I get the chance. It is specially fun and also a little touching to see Nikki bond and thoroughly enjoy herself with my little nephew R, who's a couple of years older than her. I have a photograph of C Paachi with R and Nikki in which C is holding Nikki and R is standing next to her. The snap beautifully captures R grinning mischievously at Nikki while she grins right back with an equally saucy, exhilarated expression on her little face, a testimony to the fun times they've shared. We're lucky that P also has a large extended family, with lots of kids close to Nikki's age and even though she was too small to really interact with them the last few times we met, I'm sure she'll enjoy her time with them as she grows older.

I shared these thoughts with P last evening as we drove back home after saying goodbye to C and we got around to talking about what we'd like Nikki to grow up with, the important stuff, the stuff that really matters. We were both agreed on the importance of family and close friends; I hope Nikki has a wonderful, loving set of friends she knows she can rely on and turn to anytime as she grows older. Growing up, we were always moving cities and I would often be the new girl in town or in school or in the park, the girl who was left out of birthday parties and sleepovers and movie nights because nobody knew her well enough yet. Sure I would settle in eventually, get to know people and make friends but it was always difficult those first few days when everybody was comfortable in their own little groups and you were the only outsider who didn't fit in any where. In retrospect though, I feel this has always made me appreciate my friends more and I am truly thankful today for the wonderful group of friends I have.

A love for books and reading is another thing I hope to pass on to Nikki, followed closely by a love for music. There is no greater joy than losing yourself in the wonderful world of a beloved book, retracing the adventures in an old favorite, the thrill you feel when you connect instantly with a new book or the quiet anticipation of an evening tucked up in bed with a mug of hot chocolate and a good book left half way. Except perhaps, the joy of waking up to the smell of freshly brewed coffee and the strains of a ballad by Richard Clayderman on a Sunday morning. Or some smooth jazz or perky funk beats on a Friday evening as you wait for dinner guests to arrive. Or the instant mood lift as you listen to an old favorite on a rainy afternoon or on a long drive back home. So Nikki gets a generous dose of  Floyd and U2 along with Wiggles Dorothy the Dinosaur and she seems to enjoy both equally well! Of course The Papa Man ensures that there's a generous dollop of 'Tere Liye' and 'Singh is King' thrown is as well and both those numbers have little Miss Nikki doing a vigorous shake-that-booty each time!

I am hoping to celebrate all of the major festivals in a big way now that Nikki is here. Before we had Nikki, festivals were equated with days off, a chance to get away from the stress and pressure of daily life but now I look forward to spending these special days in a leisurely manner with Nikki. Enjoying the beauty of colors on Holi, basking in the warmth of family and togetherness on Diwali, always a gala family event, discovering the magic of Santa Claus at Christmas, making modaks together for Ganesh Chaturthi and beautiful jhankis for Janmashtami. Festivals, also mean holidays and holidays are another important part of growing up happy! Long and lazy summer holidays, short winter breaks, even weekend getaways, I want to ensure we take some time out every now and then to get away from our regular routines and travel the world and spend time together, sometimes to meet new people and do different things, sometimes to just enjoy a slice of solitude.

Which brings to me to the importance of enjoying  your own company and being comfortable with yourself. That wonderful place where you know you can step out and have a great time over coffee with friends knowing equally well that you can go right back and have just as wonderful a time all by yourself. I hope I can teach Nikki that. Along with the power of dreaming big, beautiful dreams, believing in them without being afraid of failure and taking risks. Living the most exhilarating life and being the best person she possibly can be. And always knowing that two people, mom and dad, will always be there for her no matter what.

This list could go on and on so I thought maybe I'd leave it at this. Or maybe I'll keep coming back and adding to this if I feel I've missed out on something that really should be here. What about you though? What are those special things you know you want your children to grow up with?

The times, they are a changin!

A lot of times in the last eight months I've felt strangely disconnected from the outside world. Having taken a break from work post Nikki's arrival, for a variety of reasons AND having relocated to a new city, my life these days pretty much revolves around the home and the hearth. And this has not always been easy, given that it is a big change from my crazy, career obsessed pre-baby life.

Anyhow, the purpose of this rambling prelude, before I lose myself completely in the rambling, is to say that there are a few things in my life that have remained constant and that I turn to once in a way for cheer or comfort. Like some of my favorite blogs. Or books. Or music. Or friends who are always just a phone call away. There I go again. Getting back, there has been another thing that I sometimes turn to, just to get a different perspective. Bad television. Somehow, watching corny Hindi soaps once in a way works as a great stress buster for me, in spite of the glowering P ranting in the corner about the senseless trash people will watch these days. To be more specific there is one soap on Star One that I've been following quite diligently, which means I watch the odd episode once in a couple of weeks and it reassures me that all's well with the world and some things will always be around.

Back when I was working, watching a couple of minutes of this soap was a tried and tested remedy to dispel the blues. It was like a rock steady comfort blanket, if you know what I mean. The storyline hadn't wavered for decades. The actors were like old pals, except for one lead female character whom they kept changing for some reason, but since all she had to do was make gooey eyes at the male lead opposite her it really didn't matter. It had all gotten into a rather comfortable routine. Lead pair fights. Makes up. Fights again. Makes up. An so on and so forth. Even the background drum beat remained comfortingly the same. It was all very peaceful and de-stressing. None of that saas bahu banter, nor the drama of reality shows. Just pure unadulterated drivel that remained consistently the same with characters that went nowhere and did nothing in particular. Apart from fighting and making up of course.

Which is why I wasn't at all prepared for what happened yesterday. It had been a bad day with the maid playing hooky, P working late and Nikki deciding that this was the day to beat the tar out of the sleep fairy. So at 8 pm or thereabouts, in severe need of some comfort viewing and deciding it was time for a dose of Dill Mill Gayye, I turned on the television. True it had been weeks and weeks since I'd last seen it but the thing had been going on without anything remotely resembling change forEVER and I was mentally prepared to watch some of the same old, same old. Only to get totally gobsmacked at what I saw! This couldn't possibly be my DMG! There was none of the same or even the old about this DMG! Everyone and everything had changed! My peace of mind now completely shattered, I quickly called the teenage female cousin who specializes in all things telly related for an update. I had to know what the hell had happened here. Turns out the earlier cast have all being either killed (gasp) or retired (shudder) and a new young and restless cast and crew is in place. The only thing that seems to have remained constant is the lack of a storyline. Not that I care anymore. My reasons for watching the damn thing in the first place have all been wiped out along with the old cast. Goes to show you can't take anything in life for granted anymore. Not even bad television. Sob.

****

Telly obsessed cousin, who bonded instantly with me after aforementioned phone conversation (having given up on me for being one of the geeks of the family earlier) called some time back. The poor girl was shattered with the turn of events in DMG too having fallen madly in love with Dr Armaan, the erstwhile male lead, specialist in gooey eye making. Nobody from the new cast is cute enough apparently. Anyway, she seems to have discovered a new show on the rebound which goes by the name of Mile Jab Hum Tum and has cute young guys and gals who keep fighting and making up all the time. Just the kind of stuff I would've liked in the old days. Except that I'm not taking any risks with any more of these fickle soaps. From now on its the tried and tested DVD re-runs for me, thankyouverymuch. Good ole Remington Steele, Poirot, Sex & the City, Friends & OC! Always there when I need 'em!