Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Look who's back!

'Allo 'Allo it's me again! I would've come by earlier but The Mommy Woman was on a long break herself so I thought I'd give her a chance to make an appearance before stealing her thunder. It is her blog after all even though everyone knows the real reason anyone reads it is to find out what I've been up to! Besides I heard The Mommy Woman tell The Papa Man that my last appearance was a big success and so I've decided that I should drop by now and then, even though I'm ever so busy these days with all my myriad activities. This growing up business takes up a lot of time all right! Plus now that I'm a big girl I try to do my bit by lending a helping hand around the house. Like first thing in the morning I go up to the center table in the living room and fling the days newspapers on the floor. Then I spread them out all over the floor so that The Papa Man will find it easy to read them on the go, after all he is always in such a hurry in the mornings. That silly Mommy Woman tries to pick them up again sometimes though, before he's had a chance to read them, so these days I make it a point to generously endow my diaper with loads of the gooey stuff before she gets a chance to lay her hands on the newspapers. That keeps her busy for some time, heh heh! I also try and help the cleaning lady who comes to our house every day to do the dusting. I fling all the stuff I can reach off all the available surfaces so that she can do her job properly. I really don't know why The Mommy Woman has such a problem with that, the silly hussy. I mean everyone knows that the cleaning lady has to remove all the stuff anyway if she is to do the dusting properly!

Oooh there goes the phone, must rush! I make it a point to answer the phone each time it rings to save The Mommy Woman some time. The phone is placed rather conveniently, I just need to stand on tiptoes and it slips easily into my hands. I even attempt to make some conversation with whoever is on the line, but most of the time they speak some gibberish I can't fathom so I let The Mommy Woman take over. I try to help her while she's talking by pushing the buttons on the phone, after all that's what she does too, but the silly woman just doesn't know how to appreciate a helping hand. Hmph. Anyway not like I care, I find those other kind of phones more interesting anyway- the tiny ones that trill and have the bright lights and fun music. The Mommy Woman is very possessive about hers though, just yesterday she had a minor coronary because I was trying to give her tiny phone a bath. It had gotten a bit dirty because I took it for a walk in the balcony so I thought I'd make it all shiny and clean and good as new for The Mommy Woman with a quick bath, but does she appreciate my efforts? No Sir! Instead she has a near meltdown and runs around shrieking like a headless chicken, the silly drama queen. Anyway, I soon showed her who's the real drama queen in these parts and now she's promised to get me my very own tiny phone. About time too, I say.

Anyway, on to more interesting topics. I did mention last time that I love music didn't I? Well I've considerably expanded my repertoire of dance steps since then, and it takes little to get me started on my favorite moves. I love that Uff Teri Ada song The Mommy Woman listens to these days, hands in the air, a lil head banging, shake that booty baybeh! The other fun thing I discovered just two days ago was that playing in the water can actually be fun! To tell you the truth I was getting a bit bored of listening to The Mommy Woman go on and on about how I was scared of water. Scared, pish tosh! Sitting in a tub full of water and swatting at some rubber ducks may be her idea of fun, but please spare me! I mean why would you want to get your neck wet and your hair all messed up?! But this Sunday, The Papa Man filled up the large inflatable pool with water and a few of my favorite toys and got in there himself. He looked like he was having a ball so I thought I'd try dipping my toes in too, and it wasn't that bad you know. Ten minutes later I was in the middle of all the action splashing The Papa Man with water and having a total blast! Ooh what fun! Of course The Mommy Woman was being her usual pestilential self buzzing all over the place like a honeybee who's overdosed on coffee and taking snaps like it was going out of fashion. Really, these grown ups can be so embarrassing sometimes! Take our evenings in the park for instance. My pal A and I like to greet each other with squeals and hugs, before having some heart to heart babbles and screeches, given that we meet only  once a day. I mean I am entitled to some privacy for quality time with my friends right? Try telling that to The Mommy Woman! She and A's mom are perpetually in splits while A & I are trying to make some conversation, cooing and gushing over us all the time. If I had my way, I would put The Mommy Woman in my cot for a time out while I get some quiet time to myself. If only I had the strength to get her in there. Hmmm, there's a thought! Maybe I should drink that sloppy white stuff The Mommy Woman tries to make me drink all the time, after all she did say it would make me strong. Getting back to our evenings in the park, they really are my favorite time of the day. I love going out and especially if its a trip to the park or a garden. The Papa Man is going to take me to the Zoo and the Circus next week! I love animals, specially bow wows and I heard The Papa Man say there's a bow wow show in the circus so I'm super excited! I even like the bow wows in the park and I wish I could spend more time with them everyday, but The Mommy Woman always throws a spanner in the works! I mean is there any harm if she runs around the park with me in the pram chasing the bow wows for a few hours every day, I ask you? But no, all she does is is point out a few bow wows from a distance and leaves it at that.Bah!

Here she comes now to check my diaper AGAIN. Talk about obsessive compulsive behavior, the woman is at it all. day. long. Maybe I should just learn how to use that pink potty contraption she tries to make me sit on some times and get it over with. Then I can lock myself in the loo like The Papa Man with my copy of Sleep Tight Bunny and get some peace and quiet. Meanwhile, I guess I just have to live with The Mommy Woman poking around. Being the ever so helpful sorts I try and help her while she cleans me up, I mean it is MY bum, is there a problem if I put my hand in there and squish around a bit? Really, these grown ups have a problem with EVERYTHING. One of these days I'm going to have to give her a piece of my mind. I mean I try to be patient with her but there really is a limit to how much you can take! Take bedtimes for example; for the last couple of months I'd been sleeping at 8.30pm on the dot and letting The Mommy Woman and The Papa Man take some time off. But now, the minute I decide I want to join the party, and its all "Oh God she just doesn't sleep on time!" I mean what's a girl got to do for fun in these parts? Drop The Mommy Woman a line if you get time, won't you, and ask her to take a chill pill!

Hark! There's the phone, must rush before The Mommy Woman beats me to it! I'll drop by again later if I manage to get her to play quietly by herself while I attend to my stuff. Laters, then!

16 comments:

Mona said...

Hi Nikki!
Good to hear from you :) This was a fun read!

Unknown said...

ohh nikki nikki.. Welcome back..
Loved reading abt ur antics. I'm sure the mommy woman is gonna laugh abt all this a year down the line. U do ur thing n like they say in "kerwizz" "Go Nikki Go!!"

MRC said...

Hey Nikki

Cm'ere, wanna tell you a secret..ALL of them Mommy Womans are like that.
Would you believe the mommy woman around these parts, she actually makes me SIT ON A DUCK !! To say nothing of the screeches I hear when I wanto put my hands on the danglers and pull them....I mean whats the point? Why'd they put em there if they dont want em to be yanked? huh, these mommy womans are crazy I tell you!And..oh all right all right , this mommy woman, she wants me to give ya some kissies..ugh!

whinymom said...

hey there! She sounds just like my Boy!! CUTEEEEEEEEE!!!!

Diary Of A Stardusted Dreamer said...

Mona...Thanks! I would've written more often but The Mommy Woman's ALWAYS hogging the laptop.

MM...Hmph I certainly hope she does or else the joke is going to be on her!

MRC...Eeeyuck kisses? These mommy women are SO gross. Mine also keeps kissing me all day long even though I do my best to shove her away. And you say they're ALL like that?! Good Lord what will the world come to?!

whinymom...Hi there, yup she's cute all right, so you can't even get angry with her :)

Anonymous said...

Cool update. LOL! Ash tries to wash her bum too and when I ask her to stop it!, she says, "Me helping mamma wash up"..:P

Piper .. said...

Hugs to lil Nikki! This was such a fun read! I cant believe she dances to 'uff teri ada' :):)And MRC`s right of course - All mommies are pbly just the same :):)

Anonymous said...

Oh the phone..I love the phone too Nikki..but Maa and Paa are so mean, they keep all the phone sooo high up, I can't get to them, so I switch off the power connection to the phone. That will teach them..

And what is up with all the screeching about helping clean up the bum..I mean..First they want us to clean up after ourselves and then they don't let us when we do..make up your mind woman.. grrr..

Diary Of A Stardusted Dreamer said...

memyhubbynbaby: Oh no! I was hoping this bum cleaning business gets better with time. Me no want no help!

Piper: Hi there! Oh she dances to a lot of songs, a hint of music and the lil mover and shaker is in full swing! The title track from 'Singh is King' is another favorite, complete with fist pounding and chest thumping :D

comfortablynam: Oh Buzz you so get me! That is precisely my point, if they want me to get potty trained shouldn't I be able to clean my own bum?! I tell you these grown ups are so confused!And hey, switching off the power of the phone is so cool! Must try it. Hmmm...

Veena said...

Nikki, you go girl! You are doing a fab job outwitting that Mommy Woman! Do tell your Mommy Woman that I relished every sentence of this post and laughed really hard. It's been a while since I read a post as hilarious as this..I totally enjoyed it ;)

Aneela Z said...

hey there,
acha another tip to make bath times simpler. though arhaan is over his "water aversion" phase..he refuses to go back to his tub (we had another screaming, getting out all nangoo episode the other day) he will only "condescend" to the hand held shower (which is a bit difficult if Im the only one around as I am scared of him slipping in our tub--he refuses to sit on the floor of the tub) so I make him sit on the little plastic stool I had got for myself for his bath times. It has been really helpful and bath times are less traumatic.
Re: the books I borrowed Amitava Kumar's Home Products (it would have made for a nice book of essays rather than a full fledged novel--but other than that its an interesting read about small town India as most of his work is) and what turned out into a jazbatee novel (Jaisree Misra's Secret and Lies)

Divs said...

LOL - really a good post abt Nikki! Loved reading abt all the mischief she has been up to. And yeah I keep telling myself to stop being so paranoid too but we moms are just moms na. Its in our blood to micromanage everything our kiddo does :-)

Divs said...

Oh - I posted a comment a few mins ago...don't see it here. Not sure if you got it :( Pls let me know if you did!

Diary Of A Stardusted Dreamer said...

Veena: Thank you, thank you! I'm thinking, maybe I should start my own blog, that'll teach The Mommy Woman!

Aneela: Hey I have a plastic stool too, will try it today at the Big B time. Currently we are in the will sit in inflatable pool but continue to screech at the sight of the bathtub phase. Damn those rubber duckies!
Thanks for the book tip, will check out Home Products, finished Secret & Lies sometime back and jazbatee is right :)

Divs...Hey Divs, I got both the comments :) I'm a SUPER paranoid mom, genetic I think :(

The Soul of Alec Smart said...

This was such a fun read :) The Mommy Woman sure needs to get used to the little diva's ways.. there's some serious angst building up here :D

Diary Of A Stardusted Dreamer said...

Oh you've hit the nail on the head, angst is right!! Now excuse me while I go oversee the attempts to smash the balcony glass sliding doors. Push, Slide, Smash! Wheee! Just some regular fun in a 14 month old's life!